In this particular case we will showcase the comedic views of American, Jeff Foxworthy,
who was born in Atlanta, Georgia in 1958.
We hope you enjoy these, no matter what country you are from. If you are fellow Canucks, please look on the lighter side of these observations, as our intention is not to anger anyone
(that, in itself, is another of our traits).
If someone in a Home Depot store
offers you assistance ...and they don't even work there,
If you've worn shorts
and a parka at the same time,
If you've had a lengthy telephone conversation
with someone who dialed a wrong number,
If 'Vacation' means going anywhere
south of Detroit for the weekend,
If you measure distance
in hours,
If you know several people
who have hit a deer more than once,
If you have switched from 'heat' to 'A/C'
in the same day and back again,
If you can drive 90 km/hr through 2 feet of snow
during a raging blizzard without flinching,
If you install security lights on your house and garage,
but leave both unlocked,
If you carry jumper cables in your car
and your wife knows how to use them,
If you design your kid's Halloween costume
to fit over a snowsuit,
If the speed limit on the highway is 80 km --
you're going 90 and everybody is passing you,
If driving is better in the winter
because the potholes are filled with snow,
If you know all 4 seasons:
Almost winter, winter, still winter, ...and road construction,
If you have more miles
on your snow blower than your car,
If you find 2 degrees 'a little chilly',
If you actually understand these jokes,
and forward them to all
your Canadian friends & others,
You definitely live in CANADA .
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Here are a few more I have added (~the webmaster)
If you've defended your property from trespassers with a hockey stick
If the most effective mosquito repellent is a shotgun
If your snow blower gets stuck while on the roof
If when given a compliment, you always look behind to see who it was for
If you travel across the border to buy cigarettes
and return home for subsidized cancer therapy
If you consider turning up the thermostat an integral part of foreplay